Stella's Story

         Over 4th of July weekend I was invited over to our friends Charlie and Becky's house for a bar-b-que since Alex was overseas. I got to meet some of the people in their lifegroup (or small group Bible study) through our church, and then their daughter and I went to watch a soccer game in Frisco.

          One of the ladies I met that name is named Stella. I didn't get to talk to her a whole lot, but I just remember that I liked her spunk and thougth she was a really neat lady. The Saturday that the tree fell, Stella had volunteered to bring us dinner. She came over, and we sat on the couch and talked for a little bit.

          Stella had been married and had lost her husband to a suicide. She raised her son from that marriage until he went off to college in Austin, and at the age of 24 he had also committed suicide. I can not imagine the amount of pain that it would be to raise a child only to lose them at such a young age, and her eyes still welled with tears when she told me her story. Stella wore a really pretty cross on a necklace, and when I commented on it she told me the secret: it was actually an urn and it had some of her son's ashes in it so that she kept him with her always. Looking at her necklace, you would have just thought it was from Brighton or James Avery, but it was really much more than that. I told her how much I loved that idea, and I shared with her that we were having a really hard time deciding what to put on Kaitlyn's urn.

         We have already picked out the urn that we would like for Kaitlyn to be permanently sealed in, but we are just having a really hard time deciding what the front of it should say. The examples in the urn book (yes, you shop for urns like you do housewares, there's a cataloge) were things like their name and date of birth and death; or "Forever in our hearts" which I vetoed because I felt like it was super cheesy. I don't know what it should say, but I don't want it to be something sad. Stella told me that we should be sure and take our time deciding, because after her son was sealed she decided she didn't really care for what she put on the front at the time of his passing. She also told us that no matter what we decided, it will still make us sad to see her urn on our nightstand. I guess she's right, Kaitlyn's urn will always remind me of the loss of our sweet baby girl, but I guess I would like it to also remind us of God's promise of hope. Stella was so sweet, she humored me and came and held Kaitlyn's temporary urn and loved on her. She told me that her son had a much bigger urn since he had been over 6 feet tall. My heart absolutely breaks for her loss, but she is such a strong and courageous lady for sharing her story with us.