Kaitlyn's Nanana

9.19.13

        I slept pretty well the night of the 18th, but I attribute that to drug therapy. I still had my epidural in, and every time I woke up you better believe I hit that button like nobody's business. Just let me sleep until I wake up from this nightmare.

        The room we were in had a queen sized bed at the opposite end of the room from my hospital bed (think about 15 yards away from me), and my husband had asked my mom to bring his army cot from the house so that he could sleep in the same room as me. We fell asleep holding hands that night, and I think he was more uncomfortable than he'll ever tell me, but I was thankful to have him so close to me.

         The next morning the nurse came in and took out my epidural so that I could start to get moving, which I was grateful for since I felt like everyone was in the main living room of the suite and I was stuck in bed. That annoyed me more than anything. The downside to getting my epidural out is that now I was on to the hard oral narcotics that me drowsy as hell. I mean, I would be mid conversation with someone and REALLY wanting to pay attention to what they were saying, and I would just nod off. I felt so rude!

         Around 9:30, Kenney showed up. My parents were in the room with Alex and I while we talked to her. I am not kidding you when I say she was a God-sent. Kenney had buried two grandchildren of her own, and her compassion towards us was unfathomable. She talked to us about what had happened, and she encouraged us to make the right decision for our family and not worry about anything else. Kenney had a nickname for herself, and that was "Nanana", like Nana with an extra Na. Kenney asked if she could be allowed to be Kaitlyn's "Nanana" and take her to her final resting place. I will forever love this woman because she took such good care of both Alex and I and our baby. We decided to have Kaitlyn cremated because we aren't really sure if Dallas will be our permanent home, and neither of us liked the idea of burying our daughter and then leaving her here if we moved. So cremation seemed like the best answer for us. Kenney was ready to take Kaitlyn that day to be prepared, but I immediately started crying when she said that and she quickly said "I don't have to take her today, I don't have to take her now." I couldn't handle the thought of Kaitlyn being taken away from us, even though she wasn't physically with us at this point and hadn't been in a good 24 hours. I appreciated Kenney's flexibility to my irrationality and not wanting my daughter to be taken away permanently so quickly.

          The pastor from our church had come by on Wednesday night, and we had set up a memorial service with him for Saturday. Kenney prepared the little pamphlets that would be handed out on Saturday, and she took a picture of Kaitlyn's sweet footprints for the front cover of the handouts. She really did a lot more for us than she was suppose to, and I doubt I will ever be able to repay her for her generosity and caring spirit. Seriously, an angel from God in our time of need.