Friday morning we were set to be on the local news between 6:30 and 7:00 AM. The news station is in downtown Dallas, so I set my alarm for 4:30 to be sure that we had plenty of time to get down there and we wouldn't miss it.
I was a nervous wreck. Again, I'm a really bad public speaker and I was nervous about talking live on the air because you can never be sure what will come out of my mouth. Alex was in town to go with me (thank you, Jesus), and as we left the house we turned on some worship music to listen to on the way down.
We listened to nearly the entire album by Bethel Music called "For the sake of the world." I love the second song on there, called "Father", which is basically the Lord's prayer in modern words to a nice tune. We sang, and prayed, the whole way down to the station.
I wore a black dress with some pretty purple flowers down the center, and a black blazer on top. The girls at the store had talked me into wearing these bright purple heels that were about 4 inches tall. I still can't really believe I wore those! They're so not me- I would much rather have shown up in jeans and tennis shoes.
Anyways, when we got to the station, it was freezing outside but there was a group of Girl Scouts outside in order to remind everyone that it was time for Girl Scout cookies and to stock up. Alex and I snuck in the back door of the station and found our way back to the holding area. One of the other girls was there (her name is Marla) and we chatted as we waited patiently.
I was really excited to meet the two local anchors, Cynthia and Ron, because I had watched them every morning since I moved to Dallas. Cynthia had twins since I moved to Dallas, and I loved getting to watch her belly grow on TV. I felt like we would be fast friends if we ever got to meet in person, and Pat had told me that Cynthia is truly as genuine as she seems on TV.
When it was time for us to get settled in our seats, one of the techs came and got the three winners from the waiting room. What surprised me about the station is that it is really a lot smaller than you would expect: the whole space is probably only about 50 ft by 50 ft. The camera men have their cameras up on wheels that they maneuver around the space to make it look a lot bigger than it is, I guess.
They asked me to sit on the end of the row between the other winners and Cynthia. I was pretty excited, but super nervous. Cynthia gave us her prep-questions (in other words, she let us know what she was about to ask us about 5 minutes before we went on live). Did I say I was nervous? Yeah I think that's an understatement.
My hope through all of this was to just show God's glory. As much as you might think that's cheesy, that was honestly my only prayer through this entire thing. I wanted to be sure that I was truthful to our story, and that I recalled as much as possible to show people that God exists, and that He loves us, and that He cares about our details.
Cynthia had told us that this was going to be a 2.5 minute segment ("Like all of our segments" she said. Funny how much longer those seem when you're watching a news team bat the stories back and forth like pros). After she and Ron had finished the last little blip before the commercial break just prior to our interviews, Cynthia walked confidently over to her chair next to me and sat down.
"I have to tell you that I really enjoy watching you every morning," I told her.
"I made the mistake of reading all of your stories again this morning before I left the house," she told me, her eyes getting a little red underneath. "I cried the whole way to work."
While she was reading her question to me, I think she was trying not to cry. She made it through, though, and then we all went out on the patio and ate Girl Scout Cookies (true story).
And that was pretty much it. Alex and I went back into the waiting room and grabbed my bag, and then went to the car and headed home.
I was exhausted. As much as I love being able to share about Kaitlyn, I was really nervous about speaking publicly about our loss and as wonderful as it is to be able to share, it still doesn't bring her back. So with every big share, there is an equally great but painful moment behind closed doors that I experience. This time, at least, I had Alex in the car with me and he was driving so I was able to sit in the passenger seat and just process everything that had just happened.
Cynthia and me
Cynthia, Me, Marla Avery, and LaToya Brown
P.S. Don't think poor of me because I didn't post the whole interviews with the other winners on here. I am scared that the contract might apply with news clips, so I'm just posting my stuff.
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