In Memory of Kaitlyn: The Retreat (part I)

2.7.14

We were suppose to check in for the retreat at 5:00 on Friday, so I had arranged to get off work a little early to get there in time. Alex kissed me and told me to have a good time (a good time? hmmm interesting choice of words).
The drive down, I got nervous again. I wasn't sure what to expect. I wasn't sure if I would like these girls. I wasn't sure that I would be able to not just cry the entire weekend. I knew I wanted a mug, but anything outside of that, I was just nervous.

The retreat was held at The Retreat at Balcones Springs just outside of Austin. The drive down was about 3 hours, and the last 30 minutes was a fun drive through the hill country (I definitely miss that since I live in flat Dallas now).
I saw the entry to The Retreat come up on the right, and as I turned in I thought, "Yay! I'm here." And then I saw that someone had put a banner out at the entrance for Hope Mommies. "YAY!" I said out loud to the whole lot of nobody in the car.
I followed the gravel road around to the entrance where we were suppose to check in, hesitantly found parking, and proceeded to peel myself off the leather seat my rear had been glued to for the last hour.
As I started to walk up, I see a young woman with red chin-length hair closing the back of her SUV and looking at me expectantly. "Hey!" she called out, like she had known me forever.
"Hey!" I called back. She walked towards me and said, "I'm Erin." Recognition hit me.
"You're the Erin?!" I asked, knowing that I was talking to the Erin who was the founder of Hope Mommies, the group that had helped me dig out of my pit of sorrow.
"You're the Amy!" she laughed back as she hugged me. (How does this chick know my name... I haven't been that active in the group, have I?)
Erin lead me in to the welcome center where I got my key to the cabin (yup, cabin) and my tshirt. I got to meet Sarah who had sent me my Hope Box (sponsored by Kimberly's cousin), and who I had emailed a few times about boxes for others.
You see, God totally puts us with the people we need to be with long before we ever realize that they are the answer to future prayers. Mallie, who had taken Kaitlyn's pictures and been such a sweet friend to me, had created a facebook group for Moms who she had served through Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep. As Moms got added, I would offer to sponsor a Hope Box for them, and to add them to the Hope Mommies facebook page. Through this, the moms were not only loved locally through other moms that Mallie had helped, but they were also loved through Hope Mommies and Hope Boxes. Sarah is the Hope Box Coordinator, meaning that she mails off the boxes to the moms she hears about, and she was the one who had written me the personalized note in my own Hope Box.
Later, Sarah would tell me that they had never had a mom do what I did, meaning that none of the other moms had been so proactive in sponsoring a box for other moms, mostly because they have no idea that the other moms even exist. Because of Mallie, I have a connection to other moms in my area. But without her and her heart to creating a NILMDTS Dallas community, I wouldn't have the opportunity to help others. Sarah had asked me how in the world I knew all these people that had also lost babies, and I told her about Mallie. Her jaw literally dropped open and she said, "That's awesome."

I got back in my Tahoe and drove over to the cabin I was assigned to. I was the first one there, so I was pretty excited to get to take pictures of everything before anyone else. When I was in elementary school, I use to go to church camps every summer. Later, that evolved into band camps. I felt the same excitement/giddiness as I took in all the details of the decorations. I loved that these women had gotten to the retreat early enough to love on us through pretty verses and saying laid strategically around the room. I loved the idea that they had prayed over each room as they decorated it.