Beth Moore and Isaac

2.9.14

     Since early January, I have been leading a little facebook group through Beth Moore's study called "Whispers of Hope." For those of you who know Beth Moore, this is not one of her regular studies with a good hours worth of homework per day, this study is really focused on being diligent in your prayers and how to pray. Its pretty awesome.
      Sunday afternoon when I got home, I realized that I didn't do any of the days that I was suppose to while I was at retreat. Kind of a good thing/bad thing because I was able to focus 100% on the retreat and gleam from that experience what I was suppose to. Bad thing because I was behind, but that was relative because the two girls who had been working the study with me were also behind. So it all came out even anyways.

      As I opened the book that over the last 4 weeks I had written prayers in, I was welcomed by a poem written by Beth herself about Abraham and Isaac.
      For those of you who don't know the story: God had promise Abraham that he would make him the father of the chosen people- the Jews, and that he would be multiplied through Sarah, his wife. They were old in age, and Abraham and Sarah had grown desperate in waiting for their child. Isaac was born when they were in their 90s or 100s (I think, I'm not a Bible scholar here, people), and from Isaac was born Jacob and later the whole tribe of Isreal. Anyways, the story is that God told Abraham to sacrifice Isaac on a mountain top, and as the two of them headed up to make a sacrifice Isaac figures out something is awry. He asks his Dad where the sacrificial lamb is, and Abraham (prophetically) says to Isaac, "God will provide the lamb." It is only when Abraham's faith is truly tested and he is about to slay his only son that God stops him and then presents Abraham with a ram to sacrifice instead of Isaac. So there's your quick Biblical backdrop to this poem:

Trust Me with Your Isaac

By Beth Moore

For every Abraham who dares

to kiss the foreign field

where glory for a moment grasped

is for a lifetime tilled...

The voice of God 

speaks not but once

but 'till the traveler hears

"Abraham! Abraham! Bring your

 Isaac here!"

"Bring not the blemeshed sacrifice,

What lovest thou the most?

Look not into the distance,

you'll find your Isaac close."

"I hear the tearing of your heart

torn between two loves,

the one your vision can behold

the Other hid above."

"Do you trust me, Abraham

with your gravest fear?

Will you pry your fingers loos

and bring your Isaac here?"

"Have I not made you promises?

Hold them tight instead! 

I am the Lover over your soul-

the Lifter of your head."

"Believe me, O my Abraham

when blinded by the cost. 

Arrange the wooded altar

and count your gains but loss."

"Let tears wash clean your blinded eyes

until unveiled you see-

the ram caught in the thicket there

to set your Isaac free."

"Perhaps I'll send him down the mount

to walk right by your side.

No longer in your iron grasp

but safer still in mine."

"Or I may wrap him in the wind

and sweet him from your sight

to better things beyond your reach-

believe with all your might!"

"Look up, beloved Abraham,

can you count the stars?

Multitudes will stand to reap

from one dear friend of God."

"Pass the test, my faithful one;

bow to me as Lord

Trust me with your Isaac-

see,

I am your great Reward."

      I cried over that poem, as I'm fairly sure anyone who reads it and understands it does. I've told you before that I have a friend who has turned completely away from the faith after Kaitlyn passed, saying to me, "God would never do that to good people like you and Alex." Firstly, neither Alex or myself are good. We are broken. We are damaged. We are lost. But because of our relationship with God through Christ, we are restored, put back together, and found. We live today because of the grace of God, not because we are careful when crossing the street. 

      My friend went on to ask me once if God had asked me if I would have given up Kaitlyn willingly, if I would have been like Abraham and taken my daughter to the sacrificial altar. 

      I can say that I wouldn't. I would not have had the faith like Abraham. I am childish in my faith still, and I wouldn't be able to see past the end of the sacrifice. But God didn't ask me if I would sacrifice Kaitlyn. He gave me a different test: Would I sacrifice my pride and my questions? Would I sacrifice my need to know why? Would I lay down those questions and offer them up to God, not needing the answer today? Would I pass the test He laid before me, or would I stumble like my friend and turn my back on God who creates life in the first place?

      Would I willingly give back to Him the things that He has given to me? Its a question that I struggle with daily. There are days that are hard, just plain hard. I lose myself in sorrow and missing Kaitlyn, and I find myself crying over the dumbest things. 

      But those days are getting fewer. I have been blessed to see God's hand in our lives, to see His divine grace in our story, and to trust His promise for restoration. You see, God never intended for Abraham to sacrifice Isaac, but He needed to know Abraham's heart. He tested Abraham with the most important thing in his life. 

But at the end, when the test was through, God remained faithful.