In Memory of Kaitlyn: Last Session and Balloon Release

2.9.14

Anytime Erin got up to teach, I felt like the Holy Spirit was tangibly present in the room. But it was on that last day that something really cool happened.
We had all sat down to eat breakfast and Erin sat next to me again.
"Are you absolutely exhausted?" I asked her. Anytime I share Kaitlyn's story, I feel emotionally drained when I get done. I feel like I could go nap for a day or two just to recover.
"Yeah, but it's a good exhausted," she replied.
When she got up to teach that morning, she continued on that theme.
"I hope you guys feel like this weekend has been worth it," she started. "But I don't feel like I have the energy to say anything else. So we're just going to spend some time in the word this morning as we close out."
She invited us to open our Bibles to John 16:4. She read through Jesus' words predicting that He would leave and go make ready the Kingdom of Heaven. It was when she reached verse 12 that she paused.
"'I have much more to say to you, but you can't handle it now.'" she read, and then stopped, using her thumb to trace over the words she had just read into the microphone. "Oh," she said softly. "Oh," she repeated. After her confession of being out of words at the beginning of the session, she paused because The Word had given her words when she was out of them.
"He has so much more to tell us," she said, finally looking up at the crowd of faces watching her moment. "He has so much more to tell you Amy, and Jennifer, and Jessica..." she faded off as she looked at each of us in the face. "But we have to be patient and wait for Him to speak. We have to wait and persevere to get those words from God; to hear what He has to say to us in the perfect time." She said those words as she looked around the room, with such passion and conviction that it moved me. I immediately grabbed my notebook to jot down the verse, and know for the rest of my life that memory of her pausing as she read it and breathing out her spirit response of "oh" will stay with me.

After we finished the session, the leaders took us to the Prayer room where there were three bunches of balloons: pink, blue, and yellow. We were invited to write our baby's names on them for the balloon release from out on a big field on the camp grounds. I busied myself making Kaitlyn's balloon, but soon realized that there were going to be a few extra. I grabbed a few of them and wrote the names of the babies that Mallie had taken pictures for since she had taken pictures of Kaitlyn. There were four balloons total, but since I didn't clear it with the mommas I won't post all of them here. This is what Kailtyn's balloon looked like: