One way or another

   We have had a lot of friend that have commented on our faith over the last two months. One of the things that pastor John said during K's memorial service that when people are in the midst of a crisis, they tend to either go towards God or away from God. Alex and I have, obviously, both run with our heads down towards God and lean on him completely during our rough times. But Kaitlyn's life didn't just affect us, it affected everyone we have come to know in Dallas over the last five years.
    We have a friend that reciently got married and her husband has, unfortunately, turned away from his faith and instead declared that God does not exist. How could such a loving God allow something like this to happen to Alex and I? We haven't done anything so severe that would deserve us to lose a child, surely... But karma always comes back around, doesn't it?
     Alex and I sat down one night to have a conversation with this couple and we wound up talking about religion. I commented to one of my coworkers that these kinds of conversations are inevitable, and she questioned me back with, "Why? They don't have to be." Well, I suppose I could dodge questions and just say blanket statements, but that isn't being true to my faith or to Christ or to Kaitlyn, for that matter. So I would rather engage in these conversations and be transparent with our struggles and triumphs than hide behind vague acceptance of everything controversial.
     The conversation I had with the husband of a friend (I am going to refrain from using his name publicly to protect both his and her privacy) ended with a conversation about Kaitlyn. He said that he believes that if God really existed he would have saved her and allowed her to live a long, healthy life where she would have touched millions of people with her witness and story. My response to that is maybe, maybe not. Each of us is put here on earth with the divine right of free will, so my daughter would have gotten to the age where she was accountable for her actions (knowing what sin is) and had a choice to make. Because of Alex and I, I fully believe that my daughter would have been a believer at perhaps and early age, but I don't think for a second that she would have been immune to the temptations and doubts of this world. Kaitlyn may have grown up to be an amazing missionary or world wide author or speaker for ministries, but God didn't author those things for her life. Her life was meant to come and go in exactly the time and manner in which it did. She was here for exactly the number of days she was suppose to be, and she left exactly at the time she was suppose to. Would I have chosen this road for myself if I had been given the choice? Absolutely not. But at the same time, I am reminded that God's plan is bigger, broader, wider, and greater than any plan that I could ever have come up with. Kaitlyn may have grown up to be someone who influenced millions of people through just breathing, but I truly and honestly believe that her story is not done echoing in our lives and she will touch more people the way she is now than she perhaps could have if she had lived.