Late.

3.5.14

      Thursday morning was a blur. I had to get up super early in order to head down to the Dallas VA, which is about 20 minutes south of downtown Dallas (in not the best neighborhood).
      Will all that rushing around, it wasn't until mid-morning when I was sitting with a co-worker that I realized it was Thursday. And I was officially a day late.
       Without giving you TMI, I have to tell you that I am one of those clockwork body types, meaning that I get that monthly reminder that I'm a woman the exact number of days apart every single month. I've never been late except when I was late with Kaitlyn, but I had tested positive a few days before that moment so it didn't freak me out.
        This, however, freaked me out. Having just took a pregnancy test on Tuesday, I was positive that I wasn't pregnant, but what could be causing this irregularity? Stress? I do work in a demanding job, but that's never been an issue before.
         After I spent the morning chewing the inside of my cheek trying to figure out if I had counted days wrong (I keep this on a calendar at home, not on my iPhone or anything mobile like that), I called my Mom on the way home.
         "Maybe you're having a phantom pregnancy," my Mom suggested. "I know you guys really want to be pregnant, so your body may be tricking itself into acting like you're pregnant."
         Can I say, "UGH" out loud? Yes, we wanted to be pregnant. Yes, we were trying. But its very unlike me to have emotional issues so bad they cause a physical reaction. So, being the number nerd that I am, I googled it and found that only 1 in 22,000 pregnancies are really phantom pregnancies.
          I texted my Mom the statistic and asked, "Can lightning strike twice?!" I couldn't believe that  a phantom pregnancy would happen now after everything we'd been through. So instead, I resolved to go home and relax with Alex and hope that everything would return to normal. I had also decided not to tell Alex that I was late because I didn't want to get his hopes up for something that was (to me) clearly something else.

         But then I got home, and my sweet husband had gotten us dinner complete with a bottle of wine. I stopped in the middle of the kitchen when I saw the table all set and just looked at him.
         "I..." I started. "I don't think I can drink because I might be pregnant."
          Alex's eyebrows raised up in a surprise and disbelief. "But I thought the test was negative?" He asked.
          "Well... It was. But I'm late. And if I am pregnant, I don't want to risk drinking right now," I finished, setting my bag down on the floor.
           Alex smiled as we sat down to dinner. He didn't say anything else about it, but I could tell he was already getting excited about the possibility of us being pregnant.