Hump Day!

11.20.13

      That Wednesday morning I got the call that I needed to go to yet ANOTHER new hospital that I hadn't encountered yet. Things happened outside of mine or my manager's control and they needed somebody that was through the credentialing process to go down to cover a case. At this point, I just started laughing because I had just said the day before that this was the hospital I didn't want to go to yet. I gathered my things and headed down there.
      I walked into the lab and the first guy that saw me said, "Hey! You had your baby!?" and I replied, "Oh no dude, she didn't make it." and his face just fell. I followed up with a "Its cool I know where she is." I'm 100% sure I traumatized that guy, but honestly I was just so callus to the questions about Kaitlyn at this point that I just couldn't handle the pity looks anymore. I had to leave the lab area for a minute and when I came back into the room everyone kept calling me "sweetie" and "sweetheart." Good grief I am not going to break down right this second, people. I did that yesterday. I started to feel a little bit guilty about blindsiding the poor guy, but then I remembered what Kate and I had talked about on Monday and I refocused on my own emotions and decided to let everyone else go through what they needed to without my interference. That was a very strange and freeing place to be. I didn't worry about what they were thinking or if they had questions... There will be time for those conversations in the future as I continue to cover that account. But right then, at that moment, I let go of my need to fix everyone around me and just let it be.
   
      Later that night, I met up with my Bible study girls at a local taco shop to have some quality girl time and to grab some grub. One of my very first friends that I met when I moved to Dallas is engaged, and we were all talking about her big day and where she's getting married and her colors and all that fun stuff that women talk about. I was listening in but when somebody asked her when she is getting married and she said "May 3rd", I felt something resonate in my bones that said, "You will be pregnant by then." And I started laughing a little. One of the girls looked at me funny and I just said, "Oh... I'll be pregnant by then." Like it was a complete fact, no doubt and no questions. So here it is, my faithful blog readers, I will be pregnant by May 3rd. That didn't just come out of nowhere, that is a promise that has been spoken to my soul. Its barely December as I am writing this (I always write about two weeks behind because then I don't get sidetracked writing and not living) so I am claiming a promise that is yet to come. I will be pregnant by May 3rd. Let's wait and watch what God does with me until then.