Afterward

      I knew when I started writing this blog that it wasn't suppose to go on indefinitely, and I knew that once we had our second child my grief would change again (as it did). Very early on, I decided to stop writing this blog as it stands once we had a healthy child, but I had no idea that it would be one day short of 13 months to the day after we lost Kaitlyn.

      There is a movie that I have loved for a very long time that came out in 2000 called Gladiator, starring Russel Crowe and Joaquin Phoenix. The story line is filled with lots of blood and intrigue, and if you rented it today you would probably call it a "dude" movie.
      At the beginning of the movie, the main character is out fighting a battle and the corrupt Emperor of Rome has his wife and child killed (bear with me on this). Throughout the whole movie, you watch his character go through his grief in different stages and share his story with certain key people along his journey to free himself from the slavery of being a gladiator.
       Spoiler alert: at the very end of the movie, the Gladiator dies. His death scene is one of the most amazing cinematic pictures that I think I have ever seen. As he lays bleeding out in the middle of an arena, his spirit is crossing over to the other side by walking slowly through a field of wheat that looks just like his home where his family was murdered. As he continues to walk to the fields, the wind blowing the grains to make waves on the hills in front of him, he finally reaches the end of a dirt pathway where his wife and child are waiting at the other end. His son starts sprinting towards his father in joyful recognition.
     
       I know that is what Heaven will be like when we get there. I know that one day, when my parents die, and when Alex dies, and when I die, we will be greeted by the most beautiful girl to ever leave this planet early. I know that she will run to us in recognition, taking us by the hand anxious to show us around Heaven.
       Because I put my faith in Jesus Christ, I know that I will be reunited with her. It is the promise of salvation.

      The final scene in the movie Gladiator shows one of the key characters, a fellow gladiator and friend of Russell Crowe's, takes the small wooden figures of the Gladiator's family and creates a tiny grave for them to be buried in. As he placed the dirt over the figures, he looks to the sky and says with certainty, "I will see you again." A slow smile comes across his face as he continues, "But not yet..." and the final words of the movie are said in a whisper, "Not yet."